I'm trying to get in excellent mental shape too.
Without going through my whole life story, I'll just say I've had some rough times from the get-go, and I've had some amount of depression for as long as I can remember. Throw in about 12 years of childhood bullying (creative, nerdy kids who get free lunch don't win popularity contests) and let's just say I'll be a regular at the Therapist's for some time. But it is all good - everyone should have a neutral party to be totally honest with. TOTALLY honest. Otherwise it won't work.
I used to get frustrated pretty often when I exercised. There are things I hate, like mountain climbers and lunges, because they're difficult for me. I feel like I can barely master them and this makes me very, very angry. Yoga makes me angry because I can't get my mind to be quiet, I can't sit still.
I couldn't ever figure out why all this should bother me so much, but then it dawned on me as I was doing laundry.
I like to be perfect at things. If not perfect, at least completely awesome. Perfect was how I stuck it to the bullies, got attention, reaped praise. Perfect grades, mostly, but I won a couple ribbons at the county fair for baking and sewing, so there's that.
I am not perfect at working out. I never have been, despite 3 seasons of cheerleading, 2 seasons of track, and a season of swimming throughout middle school and high school. I'm not a natural athlete (unless you count loving to hike), so I've never put much into it. I can't expect to be able to run for 5 miles, do 20 squats or a perfect minute of mountain climbers, or bliss out for an hour of yoga if it's not something I've done regularly. You build up to it.
In hindsight, I think I've spent my life focusing on what I am great at to compensate for or hide my weaknesses, instead of working on those weaknesses and making them at least average. As a result, I don't have a lot of experience honing and acquiring new skills. It puts me outside my comfort zone.
All things considered, I do believe it's time to expand my comfort zone and embrace things I know I'm not great at*. That leads to growth.
So what are you going to embrace? What's holding you back?
*Patience is a huge one! I'm very patient with others, but not with myself. I want to be perfect now, have results now, get what I want Now, Now, NOW - instead of relaxing and enjoying the journey to get there.
This post really struck a serious cord with me. It's partially why I started to learn about the gym 2 years ago. I'd been completely unathletic my entire life and knew I was miserable with myself as a person and everything else seemed out of control at the time in my life. I thought there was one thing I could change though and that was my weight and shape. I was fortunate to have my friend and then co-worker who was gifted in the ways of exercise and the gym and went to him sheepishy for help at size 24 and wearing a 54 inch shirt because I wanted it to feel a little "loose" instead of tight like a 2XL had become. So 245 pound nothing but 3x fat me wanted a change and slowly I learned something new and am happier for it even though I know I'll never really be rid of wanting a comfort zone but I'm glad I try now and again these days to be a little different.
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